Jamie Mallender, "I was fortunate enough to be asked to tour with Tony Martin in support of his Scream album (which you must go out and buy immediately if you haven't already - cos it's brilliant!)  This is my tour diary (my dad's idea.)  The tale of 6 hapless rock 'n' roll degenerates, cast into the trecherous world of touring at the mercy of evil promoters and shite equipment, the incredible highs and soul destroying lows, breakdown, dissapointment, adulation and of ham and cheese."

 "Tony and Chris (our soundman) were already on the way to Austria.  Tony had set off ahead of us to do some business with the record company in Germany, taking Chris with him.  Danny and myself were instructed to meet up with Geoff and Joe at Stanstead Airport at 9.30 am on the 8th November 2005 - to fly to Austria a day ahead of the 1st gig.  We met up the night before, went for a pint + stayed at his parents house as it's not that far from the railway station.  I'm sure you needed to know that."

 "3.30!!!! we got up!!!!! After about an hour's sleep + got a taxi at 4.35 + got on a train to Doncaster at 5.05.  We arrived in Doncaster at 5.35 + caught our connection to Peterborough at 6.am.  We were very pleased with our self-organisation + our hair.  It was then that things went slightly wrong.  On the way to Peterborough, the train started to slow down.  Then came an announcement, "we are sorry to announce that the train must stop, as a body has been found on the track ahead."  The train was stationary for ages, and when it set off again, Dan and I saw a body next to the track, covered over with a sheet, feet sticking out + police everywhere.  It was like a scene from Taggart.  We called Joe to let him know that it was going to be a race against time for us to get to the airport on time, he sounded about as worried as someone who is not very worried.  When we got to Peterborough, there wasn't a connection due for ages but finally we saw the train for Stanstead + bundled all our stuff onboard once more.  Have you ever noticed how when you have lots of things to carry onto a train and you just can't manage absolutely no-one helps you?  Baskets! Watching the time all the way there, we realised it might not be as bad as we thought.  At the airport we threw our luggage and instruments on a pair of trolleys and pushed them up the ramp as fast as we could.  We raced down the ramp at the other side of the bridge into the airport and found Geoff and Joe.  We were only 30 mins late, so we were pretty pleased with ourselves and stood there waiting for sighs of relief etc - but Geoff was frowning.  "They can't find our tickets - have you got the reference number?"  I hadn't.  I thought our passports were sufficient to collect our tickets.  I rang the promoter, who informed me that we were at the airport A DAY EARLY!!!!!  No wonder they couldn't find our tickets! "
"I'm not sure how this happend - or whose fault it was - but there was nothing left to do but go and find a hotel.  We found a great place, had a huge meal, some rest, saw some TV, had a stroll around, beer etc..... come to think of it - it was great!  We had a good time, and sat back and laughed about it all."